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The office where I work had its summer outing at Canobie Lake Park in nearby Salem, NH a couple of weekends ago. For years I have made it my personal policy not to go to company outings, office holiday parties and the like. It’s forced socializing with people I already spend too much time with and their vaguely familiar spouses and/or families. Inevitably, someone you have to see at work the next day makes an ass of themselves after too many drinks, or some corporate HR stooge makes a little tick mark in your permanent record about how much loyalty to the boss you demonstrate, or you find out something you REALLY didn’t want to know about someone you only see twice a year. Somehow, the food ALWAYS sucks, regardless of how expensive the place you go is. Any way you look at it, it’s a recipe for two to four hours of unnecessary grief, and I avoid it like the plague.
So why did I relent this year? Well, partly because the compulsory socializing with the co-workers was kept to an absolute minimum. The people I work with are all nice enough, but see above for my several reasons for not wanting to spend any extra time with them. For this outing, the deal was that everybody would gather for lunch in the corporate catering area, but otherwise you were on your own for the day to enjoy the park. Which leads directly to the other part — free admission to the park. A visit to Canobie has become a regular event on our summer calendar at The (Real) Big Red House, and this way we could do it for “free” (the admission was free; any “extra” items like sno-cones or tchotchkes were out-of-pocket). Given the ever-increasing cost of places like this, it was well worth the half an hour of sharing picnic bench space with my co-workers in exchange for the free rides.
At this point, I do have to take a moment to say that 1) the food SUCKED (no, seriously, it SUUUUUUCKED!) and 2) the “corporate catering area” was quite possible the most charmless and unappealing food service area I have ever experienced. If you are the person in your office who plans company outings, please think of your fellow co-workers and NEVER force them to endure this. You’re better off giving them vouchers to buy the food sold at the various kiosks throughout the park.
We arrived about half an hour before the appointed feeding time, and as we walked through the parking lot we could see and hear the smaller of the two log flume rides, which is near the park fence. As soon as we did, Charlotte began clamoring to go on the ride. We tentatively said “yes” with the thought that sometimes the lines for the rides are long and slow, and that we had a 1:00 deadline to go to the feeding pen. As it happened, the local weather forecasters had seriously gotten the forecast wrong; they’d predicted rain all day, but the skies were clear all day long. So the park was actually a bit empty compared to other past visits, and the line for the log flume was short and speedy.
As log flume rides go, this one is pretty small potatoes. They have a second one in the park that is MUCH bigger and is wildly popular because of the enormous plume of water spray it throws, soaking anyone within a 20-foot radius of the ride. This ride offers one small plunge at the beginning and then a second one at the end that’s probably only 20-30 feet up. As soon as we went up and over that first peak, though, Charlotte decided that she was terrified of the ride. Since there’s no getting out once you’re in the water, I tried to ease her fear by “laughing” through the rest of the ride, which seemed to help.
Until we approached the final up-ramp. The climb is really steep and just slow enough to give you time to think about it. Even though I’m not much for heights, I was not particularly bothered by this ride up, but Charlotte started to seriously freak out about halfway up. Anyway, it’s not the ride up, it’s the ride down that bothers me. The “log” you sit in teeters perilously at the top for a few seconds — just long enough for the ride attendant who is stationed at the top to say “Have fun!” — and then you tip downward and free-fall, landing with a splash that is enough to leave you partially wet but not drenched. It’s the ten seconds of feeling like you’re falling without anything to stop you that sends a wave of terror through me. I had to consciously remind myself that we weren’t going to crash at the bottom to keep myself from screamng.
You can tell exactly how Charlotte was feeling from the picture.
As soon as we hit the water at the bottom, she was fine. She’s good like that. Some little kids would be completely overwhelmed with a ride like that, but she was all happy and excited by the time we got out of the log and reunited with Bridget. Just the same, for the rest of the day, she didn’t want to go on any other ride that went up in the air, not even the leisurely ski-lift ride that gives you a fabulous aerial view of the park (I went alone).
We finished off the day with a good long stop at the water park area they’ve recently added. I even went down some of the water slides with her; I make a mighty splash when I reach the bottom let me tell you. Of course, as I was extricating myself from the landing pool of the biggest slide, there was one of my co-workers and his wife sitting in the nearby beach chairs watching and having a big old laugh at my expense. Swell.
You look as cool as a cuke there, Brian. Charlotte, on the other hand, is obviously holding on for dear life, poor thing. Excellent shot, by the way.
They have a camera strategically placed on the attendant’s station that photographs every single rider that goes over. Once you’re off the ride, you are directed immediately to a small building where you can buy prints of your scared-shitless self in assorted sizes.
This was not included in the “free pass”. It cost me $8.00.
Ah. I wondered how Bridget could’ve gotten up so close, but this explains it.