Looks like this morning’s emergency move by the Federal Reserve Bank kept today from being “Black Tuesday” on Wall Street. The media are probably disappointed, since they had the Panic Mill running at full speed when I got up this morning, but surely they can assuage themselves with some bit of celebrity gossip about Britney or something. The local boys have Tom Brady’s foot to obsess about, so they won’t mind.
But let’s not waste a good opportunity to panic, shall we? Even if the market doesn’t tank today, it looks like the salad days for the stock market are over for a while. Some people have lost a lot of lettuce already, but some epxerts say it’ll be a long time before the market will turnip profit. The banks are leeking like a sieve, and brokers are trying to keep their clients from being too radish. Meanwhile, smart bunnies know that a down market is the best time to buy, and what we need to buy right now are CARROTS. You can wait until May 15 if you want, but I’m going to see if I can corn-er the market now.
Shameless. Absolutely shameless. Making jokes at a time like this – people taking cuts in celery, being peppered with bad news… Tsk, tsk.
cuts in celery
AAAARRRRGGGHHH, I can’t believe I missed THAT one!