If you were a customer of Bear Stearns, you’re probably a lot poorer today that you were yesterday. Many in the investment community have chosen this sudden and dramatic reversal of fortunes to decide that WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!
I have it on good authority that by sometime tomorrow the dollar will be as worthless as the Weimar Deutschmark, and we’ll all need wheelbarrows full of cash to buy the merest item of food on the barren shelves of our looter-riddled grocery stores, provided that there’s a single drop of petroleum left to deliver the food from the few stalks of corn not given over to making ethanol. The suburbs will turn into overgrown fields populated by roving gangs of dispossessed foreclosed homeowners, demolishing their shoddily-made McMansions and warring with one another for working vehicles in a Mad Max-like post-holocaust realm of savages. Who needs the fucking bird flu?!?!?
Sounds like it’s going to be a really long week if all that happens by Tuesday.
But, you can prepare for the end of civilization RIGHT NOW by getting your all-purpose emergency kit ready. That ought to last you through the first wave of societal collapse, at which point you’ll also want to make sure that you’ve prepped your “go bag” for spending the rest of your worthless hardscrabble existence living in abandoned woodchuck burrows that you have to defend with pointy sticks and dirt clods from the ravaging legions of starvation-crazed soccer moms who attack you day and night. Oh, and here’s Mike Huckabee’s recipe for making fried squirrel in your popcorn maker so tonight you can enjoy the last hot meal you’re ever going to eat.
Look at it this way: between the monster floods that will destroy every city in the world when the glaciers all melt this summer, the buildup of toxins in everyone’s bloodstreams from all the residual pharmaceuticals in the drinking water, and the new Paris Hilton “reality” TV series, you really didn’t have anything to live for anyway.
Well, you’re all cheers and giggles today aren’t you?
You can’t imagine how many posts I read exactly like this on various web forums today, except I’m being facetious and they most definitely are not.
No, I can imagine them. Folks have been really negative. I did appreciate your mention of fried squirrel and the hottie in the helmet.
Thank you. I think that’s a rather fetching picture of me, actually.
“WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!”
I think you omitted a few O’s. there. Really, you should run spell-check before posting…
Love & xxx’s, Mr. Snitch!
I think you’re right: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
There, that’s better. :-)
Mmmmmmm…. squirrel brains.