Poor Harry and Maynard. Lately it feels like they’re getting the bum’s rush to the Big Sleep. Maynard is 12 years old now, which is officially the beginning of the 4:30 Senior Buffet years for pussycats, and Harry is 10, which is the “Hey You Kids Get Offa My Lawn” age. By the standards of today’s veterinary medicine, cats who are primarily indoor pets like H&M easily live into their late teens with proper care, and we happen to have a really outstanding vet, so it’s not like either of them has one foot in the grave. Indeed, I’d say just the opposite. You might not even guess that Maynard is a senior citizen to see him in action, and the only real signal that he is aging is that he sleeps even more than the average cat. Harry, who never really stopped being a kitten, has a bit of middle-age spread like the rest of us, but he, too, is active and healthy.
Maynard, in repose
So why the expectations of imminent demise? Well, I don’t think it’s so much that anyone is in a hurry for either cat to cross the Rainbow Bridge, but for the last several months all three of us have developed an acknowledged hankerin’ for a new kitten, and the party line is that we would not consider getting another cat until the day comes when Maynard or Harry is no longer with us. Which has given Charlotte license to start many a conversation with “When Harry and Maynard die…”, something that sounds like what Wednesday Addams might say.
It’s all the fault of the damn LOLCats, of course. We’re regular imbibers of “I Can Haz Cheezburger”, and that has led us down the slippery slope of sites like Cute Overload and The Daily Kitten. Last week I wrote about the infamous Rule 34 and its implications, but the equally perverse number of cute kitten and cute miscellaneous animal photo websites is sort of the counterbalance. Indeed, our informal motto at the Site Whose Name Must Not Be Mentioned is “Kitties and Porn”, because between the two categories they account for probably 75% of all the content posted.
It is my personal opinion that kittens are simply the cutest living things on Planet Earth, and I am a complete sucker for “baby pictures” with or without “LOLcat Speek” captions. So every time Charlotte and I sit down to peruse “Cheezburger”, we ooh and aww over the kittens. That inevitably draws Bridget out of the bedroom and into the den to see what we’re seeing, and then at least one of us will say “I want a kitten!”
Both Maynard and Harry came to us as foundling kittens years ago. Each was separated from his mother at about four weeks old, about half the age at which most kittens are considered old enough for adoption. We had to bottle feed them, teach them how to use a litter box, and then wean them on to solid foods. The two or three weeks of feedings and trainings seem to go by very slowly, but kittens raised by hand from a very early age become exceedingly bonded with people, much more so than kittens who spend their first eight weeks bonding with Mama and their siblings. When the does indeed arrive when our household is ready to welcome home a new cat, it’s my firm hope that we’ll be able to do the same thing again.
Harry reclines in bed
For now, as much as I know we would all enjoy a kitten, I am very glad to have Harry and Maynard. At this stage in their lives, they’ve grown out of most of their rambunctious behavior. Maynard, who was always a bit aloof and standoffish as a younger cat, now loves attention and more nights than not will sit in my lap while I read Charlotte her bedtime stories. Harry prefers to get his cuddle time snuggling up in bed. Half-alseep this morning, my last dream of the night was that I was pregnant and having a hard time moving around. I opened my eyes to find Harry stretched out on top of me, effectively pinning me to the bed. We’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but I know it will be a sad, sad day when they aren’t with me anymore. The cutest kitten in the world can’t fix that.
Kittehs!