Okay, stop panting over the idea of chocolate-covered lard for a second and pay attention.
Apparently, these advertising posters have been popping up all over subway stations in Russia. They appear to be promoting “American Lard” in both plain and chocolate-covered varieties. Sounds delicious so far, right? Well, maybe if you’re Russian, I guess. But in point of fact, according to this independent Russian news blog (mercifully written in fluent English by an American living in Moscow), it’s some cockamamie propaganda stunt by a leftist-nationalist political party called “A Just Russia” to convince average Russians that Americans have undue influence over political affairs…wait for it…in Ukraine. The posters are supposed to make Russians aware of how shitty American food is, which will make them hate Americans all the way around, and thus make them angry about American meddling in Ukrainian politics. Now, why Russians would care about Ukrainian politics is a whole ‘nother can of chocolate-covered lard, but I guess they might be interested on some level.
The posters are only Stage 1 in this propaganda war. Next, the party is planning to extend the campaign into the Ukrainian media (which seems an awful lot like meddling to me, just sayin’) and might even make actual cans of chocolate-covered lard to give away to unsuspecting Ukrainian voters.
But, I gotta tell ya, there’s a strong chance of backlash here, once those poor, hungry Ukrainian bastards taste the sweet, sweet goodness of pork fat enrobed in luscious dark chocolate. Few can resist its seductive allure, and from there it is a short step to deep fried pork rinds, and straight on to hardcore bacon addiction. Even Stalin loved his morning bacon, comrades.
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I do love me some lard. Says the girl from Pennsylvania Dutch country.