I’m looking at this guy and I’m trying to find out the new order of things, and what works for women and what doesn’t. Does this guy have some sort of thing going for him that I should notice? . . .
Gene, do you think there’s a sex appeal for this guy, this sort of mature, older man, you know? He looks sort of seasoned and in charge of himself. What is this appeal? Because I keep star quality. You were throwing the word out, shining star, Ana Marie, before I checked you on it. . . .
Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man’s shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of — a little bit of cigar smoke? You know, whatever.
– Chris Matthews, CNBC, June 2007
Now, Ol’ Tweety was talking about Fred Thompson, who was at the time dallying with the idea of running for president, but he could have just as easily been talking about James Tiberius Kirk…the William Shatner version, of course, not that young kid they got to replace him. I’m betting that Jim Kirk smelled pretty damn good, even when he was getting roughed up by some bad-ass Gorn, or when Evil Spock was all up in his grill in the Mirror Universe.
Well now it’s time to find out. A company called GenkiWear is bringing out a trio of Star Trek-themed men’s colognes as a tie-in with the new movie. There’s “Red Shirt” for men who like to live fast and die young, “Pon Farr” for the strong-but-silent type who wants to get his freak on once every seven years, and “Tiberius” — “for men who are difficult to define and impossible to refuse”. The website says that “Tiberius” has top notes of cedar, black pepper and citrus zest, then mellows into vanilla, white musk and sandalwood. Smooooooooooooooove.
And despite the word that it’s a movie tie-in, I don’t see young whatshisname on the box, do you? Didn’t think so.
God help us. It’s bad enough looking at Shatner without having to smell him. I never did like that guy. Give me Jean-Luc Picard.
Oh, Gretchen. Dear, deluded Gretchen. You obviously never watched the young Shatner as Kirk, or if you did, you were beyond your impressionable years at the time. When I first watched Star Trek as a youngster, I didn’t understand the “camp” factor; I just understood that he was mesmerizing, heroic, sexy (to the extent that a Barbie-humping tween could grok “sexy”), and clearly, unmistakably good smelling. Now, I am not blind to the … deterioration of Shatner’s charms over the years, but let that not get in the way of appreciating the man in his Kirkalicious prime. I completely concur with Brian: “I’m betting that Jim Kirk smelled pretty damn good ….”
(Woof.)
“Barbie-humping tween” has got to be the Phrase Of The Day.
And I have no doubt that James T. Kirk smells better than William Shatner.
I’m guessing Jean-Luc Picard uses French milled soap and celery water.