
Recently, as I was talking about the intestinal perils of eating sugar-free gummy bears, the topic of Olestra came up.
Olestra, as you may remember, was an artificial fat developed by Procter & Gamble, and they hoped to revolutionize processed foods by substituting it in almost every imaginable product. The future seemed bright indeed, but then word got out that in product testing some people who ate foods containing Olestra (by then branded “Olean” by P&G) would occasionally be stricken by diarrhea…or, as the press reports tried to euphemistically phrase it, “anal leakage”. Honestly, I think “anal leakage” sounds a whole lot worse than “diarrhea”, but corporations have weird sensibilities sometimes.
Even though the incidences of diarrhea weren’t enough to stop the FDA from approving it for human consumption, the “Olestra = Anal Leakage” meme stuck and the damage was done. Instead of becoming the world’s most-popular food additive, Olestra shriveled. Which is not to say that it isn’t still used in some products; P&G uses it in their “Light” varieties of Pringles, and Frito-Lay similarly uses it for the “light” versions of many of their well-known brands. It also pops up randomly here and there in some low-fat ice creams and other products. Indeed, I buy the Ruffles potato chips made with Olestra and like them just as well as the original, PLUS I have never experienced any sort of leakage whatsoever from them. (I only WISH I could say the same thing about the sugar-free Reeses Mini Peanut Butter Cups…ahem…)
But never let it be said that a giant industrial conglomeration like Procter & Gamble isn’t going to make their money back on an investment…oh, no. If they can’t get you to eat it, maybe they can get you to paint your house or lube your car with it. According to this Scientific American blog post, P&G have developed a new product based on Olestra which they call “Sefose”, which they are now marketing as a substitute for organic solvents in paint (solvents help keep paint smooth and spreadable). It’s also apparently usable as an industrial lubricant…HEY, I said industrial, get your mind out of the gutter!
Funny, I thought China was the only place where they cooked potato chips in paint thinner. Isn’t capitalism AMAZING?!?

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I remember Olestra. Yeah, the leakage was problematic. Well, did you know soy was a paint thickener and was repurposed as a food!?!? Tofu.
Well there you go, then!
Ah yes, those old devil peanut butter cups. Personally, I was turned off by the possible side effects of Olestra regardless of the term they used, but I agree that ‘anal leakage’ is even more unpleasant-sounding than ‘diarrhea.’ At least I know I can take Pepto-Bismol for diarrhea. I’m not aware of any product marketed to treat ‘anal leakage.’ Eesh. Enough of that. Gotta go wash my hands now.
Yay, Olestra and anal leakage! Don’t forget the “explosive bowel movements” — that was our favorite.