Effective immediatley, snowglobes are hereby designated as Weapons of Mass Destruction. Anyone caught in possession of said WMDs will be detained and forcibly bathed with seized containers of shampoo and shower gel, which are also lethal in sizes larger than 3 ounces.
On the other hand, you are now permitted to flee the country with as much cash as you can stuff into every pocket, crevice, and bodily orifice without being subject to search or seizure.
We remain confident that these random elements of intimidation will serve to delay your smooth and pleasant travel plans for the foreseeable future. Have a nice day.
Dear Harvey, Pete, Barry, Kevin, and every other weathermonkey on Boston-area TV: Enough is enough. The fucking blizzard was THIRTY-TWO YEARS AGO. It’s time to stop trotting out the same blurry videotape of cars stuck on Rt. 128 that is older than some of the people who are actually on your broadcast, just so we [...]
It’s going to be a long two months waiting for the iPad to actually ship so that all the tech bloggers and their hangers-on will stop writing so much speculative bullshit about iT and turn their attention iNstead to some other thing that’s going to Change Life As We Know iT. Since you cannot click [...]
Please, please, PUH-LEEZE stop talking about “What do we call the last decade?” Nobody could come up with an acceptable choice ten years ago, and nobody’s going to come up with one now. “Aughties” and “Naughties” are contrived and stupid, and so is the very idea that anything wraps up all nice and neatly into [...]
