The National Safety Council has a list of the top 23 causes of death in the United States, and this BuzzFeed post conveniently lists them for you along with some meme-tastic pictures for illustration (several of which regular BKO readers will recognize, I’m sure). It should come as no surprise that the top three are heart disease, cancer, and stroke. Also on the list are being stung by bees (#20), riding a motorcycle (#11), and assault by firearms (#9).
Noticeably absent:
- overdosing on homeopathic medicine
- being executed in an Obama secret death camp for Christians
- being killed by terrorists in an airliner
- and, of course, fleeing from zombies in your new 2011 Ford Fiesta


I also noticed that “death by blonde” was conspicuous by its absence.
I think the secret to overdosing on homeopathic medicine is to take an imaginarily small amount, actually.