The initial rollout of full-body scanners for airport “security” which began in March has now been expanded from the original 11 to an additional 28, and they are eventually expected to be required at every airport in the United States, despite a variety of arguments against them ranging from privacy to radiation exposures to child pornography. Nevertheless, in this post-freedom world, they’re almost certainly here to stay, and nothing we can say or do will change that.
But you knew there had to be a money-making opportunity in there SOMEWHERE…so step right up and buy yourself a set of Flying Pasties. These 2mm-thick rubber pads, in both male and female versions, cover up your naughty bits so that the TSA agents can’t drool or snicker at them (they already do that to each other during the slow shifts), and even feature cute slogans like “Only My Husband Sees Me Naked”. Your basic male pastie only costs $9.99, but you can get a his-n-hers complete set for an introductory price of just $19.99.
These’ll also come in handy when the TSA decides it’s just easier to make everyone fly naked rather than spend all that time making people take their shoes and belts on and off all day.
Ohmyf—ing Gawd…. Why does this feel like a bad Monty Python skit?
Ugh. I do not fly, and I don’t even enter airports. I like my civil liberties. It’s a pity, cos I used to enjoy flying, but there is nothing I want or need to do that is pressing enough to make me willing to deal with airport security theater.
This just in: U.S. Marshals admit to saving thousands of images of body scans from a similar sort of scanner at a courthouse in Florida.
Better order your pasties for next-day delivery if you have jury duty coming up!