The Onion isn’t even satire anymore, it’s straight reporting:
“Gentries, 48, said he had absolutely no interest in exposing himself to further knowledge of Islamic civilization or putting his sweeping opinions into a broader context of any kind, and confirmed he was “perfectly happy” to make a handful of emotionally charged words the basis of his mistrust toward all members of the world’s second-largest religion.”
Seriously. What do you do when the news satirizes itself?
Move to Canada.
The Canadians don’t want Americans moving up there and fucking things up. Same for Europe, New Zealand, and every other place I thought of going to during the Bush Years.