We hold these truths to be self-evident:

That all men are created equal.

That they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes;

and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism,

it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

So yesterday I went to the newest sandwich shop in Our Fair Town, a newly-opened D’Angelo’s (a regional chain that should be recognizable to anyone from New England), and found myself face-to-face with The Killer Tomatoes. No tomato on your sandwich, pal. Some guy Texas died from a bad tomato, so we’re not using ANY tomatoes.

Sheesh.

Look, check out this list of how many states DO NOT have a problem with salmonella in their tomato production stream. Now, granted, the mechanism of distribution for food products in this country means that quite often the produce you are eating came from some place very far away from where you live, but would it really be THAT hard for fast food operators and restaurants to find out where their produce was coming from? ‘Cause, if they came from any of these 28 states or the several foreign countries on the list, there’s no reason to pull them from the shelves except SCAREMONGERING.

Except, of course, the opportunity for all of these guys to save a couple of bucks for a month or so by not buying tomatoes. You see, tomatoes are among the most expensive produce items commonly purchased by food sellers. They’re difficult to ship long distances because of their relative fragility and are more prone to price fluctuations due to weather concerns than hardier produce. You might remember a couple of years ago when the price of tomatoes went through the roof because of bad weather, and a lot of restaurants either stopped buying tomatoes or raised their prices for items that included tomatoes. So here they have the perfect excuse to not buy them, even though the vast majority of commercial buyers of produce are not getting their tomatoes from the affected areas.

Now, I know full well that there aren’t a whole lot of locallay grown tomatoes available in New England any time before mid-July, but I know from buying tomatoes at the greengrocer that our produce comes predominantly from California or Florida, neither of which are associated with this problem. So I would like to respectfully ask all the cheapskate restaurant bean counters and fearmongering PR people to STFU and bring back my tomatoes.

Thank you.

This AP wire story sums up what I’ve been reading on a number of political blogs this week, namely that Michigan Senator Carl Levin has proposed a redistribution of the Democratic Party delegates from his state’s invalidated primary. Levin, who was the guy who caused the primary to be invalidated by going against DNC rules and scheduling it too early to try to get ahead of New Hampshire, is now responding to DNC Chairman Howard Dean’s call to wrap this all up by June. (Whether there will be any resolution to the situation with the Florida delegates remains to be seen)

At this stage I am sick to death of both of these two. I wasn’t crazy about either of them in the first place, and now I would sooner write in Zippy The Pinhead’s name than cast a ballot for Clinton or Obama. In the run-up to and subsequent run-away from the Pennsylvania primary, both candidates demonstrated what you might really expect from them as President of the United States. Hillary Clinton continues to position herself closer to John McCain with each passing day, while making use of some of Karl Rove’s shittiest playbook entries. Meanwhile, Obama’s beginning to get hopelessly boggged down in the Jeremiah Wright story, along with the usual racist bullshit about him, and his “exciting rhetoric” and “charisma” aren’t helping him “seal the deal” with voters.

So I guess the only reason to vote for either one of these two is because they “don’t suck as much as McCain.” Swell. That sure is a clarion call to leadership for the troubled times ahead.

I would like to officially send a request to Chairman Dean, Senators Clinton and Obama, and all the other Democratic candidates who “suspended” their campaigns in February: may we please have a do-over? One great big Second Chance Primary in all fifty states (plus Puerto Rico, D.C., Guam, and whoever else gets a shot), where we can wipe out all the delegate counts, skip the interminably stupid debates, forego any advertising or fundraising, and just have a “first-across-the-finish-line” race. Or maybe all of them could go on stage and sing in front of the American Idol judges (just as long as Paula Abdul is sober enough to tell the difference between one and two songs), or even do the Paso Doble on Dancing With The Stars (I would love to see Barack Obama dance with Cheryl Burke, or Dennis Kucinich do the jive with Anna Trebunskaya). Anything, anything, ANYTHING! but make us have to pick one of these two 3-D losers, only to have them lose to John “Batshit Insane” McCain…or worse, beat him.

Of course, it could be even worse…Londoners today have to choose between these two dorks for Mayor

“I hope that we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations, which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country.” — Thomas Jefferson

A Happy May Day, Comrades!

Now more than ever the lie of capitalism reveals itself in the crimes it commits against us all in the name of the Great God, Profit. In the name of profit, millions are deprived of food, reduced even to eating dirt. Meanwhile corporate executives take home bigger and bigger fortunes, even when they mismanage their corporations into ruin, taking thousands of American homeowners with them. Apologists and spin doctors who try to convince the world that insatiable corporate greed is beneficial (or at least benign) are beginning to run out of room for their prevarications and rationalizations. In this country and others, they have inculcated us in a cult of consumerism that has succeeded in turning us into placid, passive cattle who must constantly graze on new pastures to ensure the delusion of ever-increasing returns for investors. The result: a Second Gilded Age not unlike the conditions that existed in the United States at the turn of the 20th Century, with the concomitant results of decreasing life expectancy, reduced access to overpriced health care, and an erosion of the middle class that might yet prove irreversible.

Our government does nothing except abet and assist this. Trillions of dollars have been wasted on Iraq and Afghanistan to no effect and for no good reason other than to redirect that money into the pockets of corporations deeply tied to the President and Vice President. For every war crime George Bush and Dick Cheney should be tried for, there is another crime of fraud for which they also should receive swift and harsh justice.

May Day exists not to glorify the equally criminal Soviet system that hijacked Russia and Eastern Europe for generations, but to say to the world that the workers of the world, who are the bulk of humanity itself, deserve the recognition and implementation of their unalienable rights and redress for the inequalities that over-reward a tiny few at their terrible expense.

The President of Bolivia, Evo Morales, who has worked to bring equality and democracy to his own country since his surprising electoral victory in 2005, offers a sort of “Ten Commandments” for a better world:

1. Put an end to the capitalist system
2. Renounce wars
3. End imperialism and colonialism
4. Protect the right to clean water
5. Promote the development of clean energies
6. Respect Mother Earth
7. Treat basic human services as basic human rights
8. Fight inequalities
9. Promote diversity of cultures and economies
10. Live well, don’t live better at the expense of others

(via)