I like to think that Bridget and I are not “Helicopter Parents”. Faced with the double-whammy of Charlotte being an only child AND having parents who started late, the odds are against her, but for the most part I think we try to resist succumbing to the modern urge to control every moment of our special snowflake’s existence. I say this because we had to go review Charlotte’s 504 plan at her school this morning, and the very idea that she even HAS a 504 plan makes me feel like we’re too overbearing. Schools use 504 plans for kids with all sorts of issues (in our case, ADHD), but it’s also a way for them to get meddling parents out of their hair by dazzling them with bureaucratic bullshit. The line between the two conditions is a little fuzzy, hence my own uncertainty.
So, this NPR blog post made me feel a whole lot better. It lists the five most common worries of modern parents,of which are completely and utterly ludicrous. They are:
- Kidnapping
- Snipers
- Terrorists
- Dangerous Strangers
- Drugs
The post also lists the five ACTUAL most-common ways children are hurt or killed:
- Car accidents
- Homicide by a known individual
- Abuse
- Suicide
- Drowning
The disconnect between the real and imagined dangers could scarcely be bigger. I presume that you, like I, see the giant hand of media manipulation here, but if not, let me suggest that to you. Our society as a whole has completely lost sense of perspective of the difference between real and imagined threats to our daily safety, and our willingness to credulously accept whatever story the media would like us to believe is far too great. The latest strip from Tom Tomorrow sums it up neatly:
He’s a little more focused on the recent insistence by the media that a certain President of the United States is a Scary Black Muslim Terrorist, but on any given day the same narrative is routinely applied to schools, bedbugs, lawn chemicals, unscrupulous dry cleaners, and Justin Bieber.
With so much random fear-mongering, it’s really no wonder that the current model for parenting is the “helicopter parent”. Sadly, you can’t get rid of so much misplaced fear with status meetings and classroom modifications, so it’s no wonder there’s so much mutual frustration between schools and parents.



Rush Limbaugh notwithstanding, it seems like everybody has been motivated to do something to try to help the people of Haiti. Early last week, Charlotte’s teacher sent an e-mail to all of the parents of her class to let us know that they would be running a lemonade stand to solicit donations for Haitian relief efforts from their classmates; parents were asked to contribute items they would need, such as cups, juicers and a huge amount of fresh lemons, and, if possible, to sign up to help out on the day of the event. We signed up to provide the cups, and I volunteered to go in and help out.
I think the actual task was a little bit bigger than the teacher had imagined when she came up with the idea, but the kids were exceedingly well-behaved and did whatever was asked of them. As the momentum of things shifted from one task to another, I tried to run interference and do whatever seemed to need to be done: showing the kids how to stir the bottoms of the containers to dissolve all the sugar, ferrying completed containers to the “Ice Patrol” to keep them working steadily, clearing away the emptied water jugs, and so on. Our hour and a half sped by, and the kids were rewarded with a cup of their lemonade; as you can imagine, some batches were unbearably sweet, others impossibly tart, some just watery. The kids mostly drank their cups, though some only took a sip or two. The kids were then seated for an early lunch so they could spend their regular lunch period selling the lemonade, and the adults handled cleanup and pre-pouring the lemonade for service. A second shift of parents had volunteered for the lunch hour selling, and they began to drift in just as we finished and the rest of the school kids were starting to line up for the caf.








