Every time some right-wing nutjob starts spouting off about Barack Obama being a socialist, you can be sure that they have no fucking clue about either socialism OR Obama. Which is what makes this recent Huffington Post article by conservative law scholar Jedediah Purdy embracing America’s “socialist” tradition worth reading. Purdy backs off from the absurd rhetoric of the contemporary right, which asserts that anything that isn’t pure laissez faire free market pro-corporatist ideology must be the work of Satan, and remembers that ideas about reforming economic inequality, regulating unbridled capitalism, and sharing the benefits of democratic society were once upon a time as cherished by conservatives as they were liberals. Considering that the gaggle of morons duking it out this week in Iowa and New Hampshire seem only interested in out-shrieking one another about who can destroy America the fastest, it is reassuring to learn that there are some voices on the other side who aren’t quite so ready to jump off the cliff with them.
Tag conservatives
The Law Of Conservation Of Porn

Problem: The nation of Belarus is experiencing a drastic shortage of porn. (I know, I find that hard to believe myself, but if you can’t trust a former Soviet bureaucrat, who can you trust?)
Solution: Utah and the other flyover states have waaaay too much porn (didn’t you always suspect as much?) Since these people are always talking about charity and compassionate conservatism and other such bullshit, it should be no trouble at all for them to lend a helping hand to their “Red State” brethren in Eastern Europe!
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GOP = Gormless Old Pussies
Via 3Quarks Daily, I read this opinion piece in Salon by Glenn Greenwald wherein he tries to offer some deeper analysis into why the Republicans pay even the slightest attention to Ann Coulter and the other poo-flinging monkeys of the right.
His thesis: conservatives are a bunch of pussies. Okay, he didn’t actually call them “pussies” the way dear old Ann Coulter called John Edwards a “faggot”, but that’s pretty much what he’s saying. Here’s one of the better pullquotes:
That laughable absurdity really reveals the heart of this movement. It is a cult of contrived masculinity whereby people dress up as male archtypes like cowboys, ranchers, and tough guys even though they are nothing of the kind — or prance around as Churchillian warriors because they write from a safe and protected distance about how great war is — and in the process become triumphant heroes and masculine powerful icons and strong leaders. They and their followers triumph over the weak, effete, humiliated Enemy, and thereby become powerful and exceptional and safe.
It all falls together, if you ask me. You’ve got a general populace which has been brainwashed into a near-constant state of fear at the slightest threat: LED signs mistaken for bombs, anybody even remotely swarthy getting on a plane causing panic, people taking pictures of public buildings being arrested as terror suspects, the whole lot. Then you’ve got the constant media message of machismo driving people into a false sense of appropriate role models and behaviors. Next you’ve got the perversion of the predominant religion, which consistently reinforces selfishness, self-righteousness, zealotry and bigotry. And stir that all up with a dose of near-constant stupidity on the part of public officials and media mouthpieces.
Another quote from Greenwald:
People who feel weak and vulnerable crave strong leaders to protect them and to enable them to feel powerful. And those same people crave being part of a political movement that gives them those sensations of power, strength, triumph and bravery — and they need a strong, powerful, masculine Leader to enable those feelings. And they will devote absolute loyalty to any political movement which can provide them with that.
And, there, my friends, you have the “conservative movement” in a nutshell. Emphasis on the “nut”.
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And They Smell Funny, Too

The cutting edge folks at Psychology Today have given us this article which tries to summarize some of the research into the different mindsets of liberals and conservatives. How very 2004.
The results should surprise no one: liberals are open-minded, secure, able to perceive “shades of gray” in decision-making, are creative for creativity’s sake, had nurturing parents, and have a more accepting attitude about death. Conservatives were insecure children, rely on external authority for their own internal validation, dislike uncertainty or ambiguity, and have a hard time dealing with the concept of death. Education is a direct predictor of having a liberal viewpoint, but only to a point: MBAs, doctors, and lawyers tend to regress to more conservative stances after their professional training. And everybody gets more conservative if their own personal interests appear to be threatened.
The point of the article, actually, is to try to summarize some of the research in this avenue over the last five years. As the article points out, most researchers were more interested in trying to detail the very apparent “red shift” in the period after 9/11, not trying to add to the noise by laying loads of judgments on liberal vs. conservative. The consensus seems to be that the blunt confrontation with mortality that millions of people experienced by watching the collapse of the WTC towers was the triggering event that drew out latent conservative behavior across society. Now that we are five years beyond the emotional trigger, many people are reverting to their ability to view events through a dispassionate and rational process that favors a more liberal perspective. Which explains the near constant stream of messages from the political right trying to retain a modicum of fear in the general populace.
I thought this was worth reading, but when you strip away the academic mumbo-jumbo, it borders pretty close on your average “Department of Duh” bulletin.



