Tag donuts
Good Day, Eh?
So, a week or two ago, I read this amusing piece in the Toronto Star that wants us to believe that the Canadian National Food Item is the doughnut. Now, I happen to know that the doughnut was, in fact, invented in Rockport, Maine by a fellow named Captain Hanson Gregory, so I’m not exactly sure how it got to be the Canadian equivalent of apple pie, but we do have a lot of people of Canadian descent living in Maine (although most of them are French Canadian, and the “national food” of Quebec is poutine, but I digress.).
Now this week, the story is that “Canadian” is the code word that some less-than-enlightened folks have substituted for the offensive racial slur “nigger”. Over at MetaFilter, a couple of people have said that this originated in restaurants not so much as a way to disguise a racial slur but because Canadians and blacks both have reputations as being poor tippers…and that may well be true, but it’s disingenuous to suggest that it’s not meant in a derogatory fashion. Especially now that it seems that the term has slipped into the wild and is used by people other than waitresses.
So now, the race-baiters in the presidential primaries (and not just Bill Clinton, either) need to decide if they’re going to start a whispering campaign that Barack Obama is really a Muslim, or if they’re going to start insinuating that he’s a Canadian. Or that he likes doughnuts…chocolate-glazed…and Molson beer. Mmm, beer and doughnuts. Maybe that will help Obama nail down the critical Simpsons fanboy vote.
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Hey Officer Krupke, Krup You!
It’s an open secret that police officers have a well-entrenched system of “professional courtesy” — off-duty cops getting pulled over for speeding or other infractions being let off the hook by the on-duty cop who pulled them over. It’s blatantly illegal and unethical, and has a tendency to extend to family members of police officers if they have a “Fraternal Order of Police Officers” sticker in their car window, not to mention creating the sense that somehow the police are themselves above all the laws, not just speed limits. Nevertheless, as a system of petty corruption, it is so thoroughly integrated into the daily operation of police work that these police officers have actually organized a website to COMPLAIN about other cops who had the NERVE to give them a ticket, even after they flashed a badge. They even nominate these by-the-book cops for a “Dick of the Month” award (which, when you consider the assholish personalities of many cops in the first place, really is quite ironic).
Takes some nads to complain that your “brother officers” aren’t sufficiently corrupt to suit your inability to conform with the laws you’re supposed to uphold yourself, if you ask me. But here’s a new product that might be a little more effective than flashing your badge or putting your FOP sticker in the back window:
It’s an Anti-Ticket Donut. Sealed in a can to keep it fresh and edible, this donut can sit in your glove compartment right next to your car registration, so that when a fellow cop pulls you over and starts writing you up, you can just offer him a Policeman Pastry to forget about the whole thing. Provided, of course, you can manage not to eat it yourself.
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Happy National Donut Day!
June 1st is National Donut Day!
If you don’t eat a dozen, you obviously hate America!