Tag iTV

And For $29.95 A Month, Paul The Octopus Will Come To Your House And Operate The Remote

So, back in early September, Apple announced their revamp of Apple TV, and everybody was interested for about three minutes until they all realized that it didn’t matter if the little box was cool because the service still sucked.

Around the same time the first rumors about Apple TV (now iTV, of course), Google announced that they, too, would be putting together a similar sort of service package, but instead of making a box themselves, they would simply license out the Android-based software to the regular assortment of electronics manufacturers and let them figure it out. This worked pretty well with Android on smartphones, which has taken off quite strongly, while Google’s own Nexus One phone crashed and burned in the space of six months. So, sure, let someone else make the hardware.

Though there isn’t the same legion of frothing fanbois that Apple has at its beck and call, the initial response to the announcement generated a lot of hyperbolic optimism like this because Google has managed to hang on to a lot of positive feeling in the techie crowd, despite a whole slew of dud projects over the last year. However, the first actual “Google TV” product was unveiled this week by Sony, and you can almost hear the lead balloon hitting the floor. The remote control alone will kill this sucker deader than a doornail. This TechCrunch post captures the profound ambivalence from the technogeek crowd pretty well, because most gearheads look at a remote like that as a challenge to be mastered, but even they realize that this has no chance in hell with ordinary consumers.

Like other attempts to jam the Internet and television into the same appliance, this hits the same wall: people may like to watch TV on their computers, but they don’t seem to want to use their TV *as* their computer. In this case, the iTV actually ends up looking better than the Google TV, since it adheres more closely to the idea of being a service enabler for your TV, even if the service offering is kinda weak. Yes, the iTV will probably make some apps available to run on your TV, but Apple seems to realize that there is a gulf of perception between the iPad and iTV in terms of how people will use the device, despite being able to bring the exact same stuff to either device. If Sony’s first-guy-in-the-pool effort is emblematic of how Google TV will position itself, get ready for another entry into the Unloved Technology Hall Of Fame right next to WebTV and laserdiscs.

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The Sound Of A Million Fanbois Fapping

And you thought it was the cicadas. Nope, they’re working up into a high whine over next week’s product announcements, with all signs pointing to this serious makeover of the otherwise underwhelming Apple TV set-top media box. This Fast Company post features FC’s usual unrestrained overzeal (while trying to pass the buck on to Kevin Rose of Digg, but we know better, right?) about the coming total revolution in all human communication that will be caused by the iTV. And Wired, also known for its willigness to get down on all fours for the PR boys from Cupertino, couldn’t wait to tell us how awesome it would be to rent TV shows from iTunes for 99 cents with our new awesome life-changing devices, which will make everything awesome. The one lone voice of sanity that I heard was over at CrunchGear, where writer John Biggs flat out says the existing Apple TV sucks and that the new one, which will bring the tightly-controlled content delivery mechanisms of the iPhone/iPad and iOS, is likely to be even less adaptable to anything but Total Submission To Steve.

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Coming To A Riesenfernseher Near You!

While Hollywood still seems intent on turning every movie made into a 3D extravamaganza whether it needs to be or not, apparently TV makers are now running away from 3D like residents of Tokyo in a Godzilla movie. Two years ago, they couldn’t get on board with the upcoming All-3D-All-The-Time Revolution fast enough, but the 3D backlash is so in full-swing that even Time Magazine has reported on it. CrunchGear says that with four months to go before CES 2011, electronics makers have already stopped promoting 3DTV and have moved on to another fad: apps. And by “apps”, they mean the combination of built-in wireless networking (a feature that has been coming along without too much fanfare for a while) and software widgets that let viewers access Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and so on. Verizon added that functionality into its FiOS service last year, but this would be independent of your service provider because it would be controlled by the television itself.

The reason they’re all talking about this now instead of waiting for CES? The Apple fanboi propaganda machine started spinning in overdrive this week for what might be the Next Big Announcement at Apple’s September press event: the much-anticipated overhaul of Apple TV into a cloud-based set top box redubbed (what else?) iTV. All the gadget websites are talking about the leaked details this morning, but here’s Fast Company’s run-down. The box will drop Mac OS for iOS, and the video output will only be 720p, but in addition to streaming video and music, the iTV will be able to download and run iTunes App Store apps natively because it will essentially be that ginormous iPad we all joked about. Unlike some of the more fanciful pre-launch rumors about the iPad, the stories in the tech press are all pretty consistent and reasonable, and Apple needs to do something to make up for the gaffes with the iPhone 4, so I think the confidence level about this should be a lock.

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