I have to say that I think “Dancing With The Stars” has jumped the shark. It’s debatable exactly when this happened; I think there’s an argument to be made that it was after about the fifth week of Cloris Leachman not getting voted off during the last “season” of the show, but if not then, surely with the debut of the current season last week. Between the ever-growing DL of celebs with injuries, the hopeless no-name D-list celebrities, and the mere presence of Steve Wozniak on the show, I don’t think there’s much hope.
At Tina Brown’s “Daily Beast”, DWTS judge Bruno Tonioli is now posting a weekly wrap-up of the previous night’s competition, and even his bombastic Italian enthusiasm can’t hide the sheer lameness of the current cast. When a reality-show reject can join the cast with only 48 hours to train for a number that the others have been rehearsing for SIX WEEKS and blow them all away, you know it isn’t looking very good.
And Karina? Even though I would like to cover every inch of your body with maple syrup and lick you clean, you are a complete slut. How many of the celebrities have you slept with and now we’re somehow supposed to believe you’re in love with Maks, who publicly called you a fat-ass just a couple of months ago? We all know this show is just as scripted as all the other reality shows, but the writers are treating this like it was “All My Children”. Maybe they got confused by having Susan Lucci on as a contestant. But it IS maple syrup season here, so, y’know, call me, baby.
Also, did Disney somehow run out of teenage wannabes from shows like “Wizards Of Waverly Place” or “Suite Life of Zack and Cody”? Those kids are all kinds of awesome on DWTS. That rodeo guy is stiffer than a dead opossum, even if he IS married to Jewel, and Julianne Hough’s boyfriend is completely talentless (he is, however, one of the luckiest losers on the planet to get to do the horizontal mambo with her). Even that little shrimpy kid from “Hannah Montana” could probably dance circles around both of these guys AND mug for the camera every time he slid between Edyta’s legs.
It’s too bad Nancy O’Dell had to drop out, because I was really looking forward to seeing her mostly naked and covered with body glitter and spray tan. I hope they invite her back.
In the worst case scenario, DWTS is going to turn into one of those zombie shows that lingers on for season after season even though everybody has long since moved on to something more interesting, and that would be too bad. When it first premiered, it had the air of absurdity about it; has-been celebrities so desperate for work they’d prostitute themselves as dime-a-dance girls, the unabashed flamboyance and sexual ambiguity of professional ballroom dancing (Did you see him grind his package into her ass, how can he be gay?), and the ad-lib genius of Tom Bergeron (still, for my money, the best reason to watch the show) all rolled up into the total unpredictability of live television. But what should have been a sleeper hit summer replacement show turned into such a phenomenon, that the fall from grace was inevitable. They should just kick off all the terrible dancers this week, have a showdown between the “Bachelor” chick and the naked guy from “Sex and the City”, and cut their losses.
