Tag Michelle Bachmann

It’s A Scientific FACT: Brainless Slime Molds Smarter Than Most Republicans!

Who is smarter? This common slime mold, or Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann? If you said the slime mold, you’re right!

This Discover science blog post by British science writer Ed Young explains how slime molds use a mesh of input from their component parts as they interact with the surrounding environment. Given a choice between two sources of food, a slime mold plasmodium will opt for the one that appears to be the best “value” for the organism, but if presented with three choices, the mold will opt for the middle-value food source, even if it previously rejected it in the earlier set of two choices. He explains this in terms of human behaviors by using the well-known phenomenon of restaurants putting very expensive wines on their wine lists to encourage people to buy bottles that have higher markups. This decision-making process of “comparative valuation” lets slime molds constantly evaluate and navigate their environment in a complex manner not unlike higher life forms, making decisions based on actual real-world, real-time information. That’s more than you can say for Bachmann and crew.

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Be Careful What You Wish For

Political humor website Political Irony observes that Minnesota Congresswoman, Teabagger and All-Around Moron Michelle Bachmann had been whipping up quite a head of steam about the EEEEEEEEE-vil 2010 Census. Republicans have a long-standing grudge against the Census, since it tends to break sharply with their fantasy view of America as a nation of small towns full of prosperous Christian white people driving station wagons, but with their overall paranoia tweaked to about 11 since that Kenyan Muslim fellow stole the White House, they are especially exercised about the idea that the government might actually want to have some sort of reliable headcount of people. Bachmann, as one of the most notable looney-tunes, has been telling people to not cooperate with the Census (which, I might point out, is actually a federal offense, although I doubt many people have ever been prosecuted for failure to comply) so that ACORN can’t take over the government, or some such nonsense.

But, as Political Irony points out, Congressional apportionment is determined by Census data, and Minnesota, which has a declining population, stands to lose a seat in the House of Representatives based on Census numbers. So if Bachmann’s drive to defy the Census bore out in her home state, she might actually lose her own district to reapportionment.

T’is a consummation devoutly to be wished.

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