Tag monkeys

More Proof That Monkeys Are Smarter Than Republicans

You may recall a post I made around this time last year about research that indicates chimpanzees have a sort of “moral compass” that promotes a sense of fair play in their interactions.

Here’s a slightly older article that says that many species of monkeys and apes, from tiny cotton-top tamarins to rhesus monkeys to chimpanzees have a built-in facility for rational action and expect that others of their kind will behave rationally in similar situations.

Compare that to the behavior of the Republican Congress in dealing with the economic meltdown of the United States in contrast to the things most Americans feel are the highest priority for government, and you tell me who is the more rational actor: orange-skinned John Boehner, or this orange-haired orangutan

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What, No Llama?

It’s catchy, but it’s no Llama Song

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Today’s Moment of WTF

Squirrel monkeys playing with Jello!

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More WTF-ery Via YouTube

What? You didn’t LOVE the guy with the exploding bananas? Philistines, the lot of you.

Well, maybe you’re more the type who appreciates things like this:

I bet he’d like the explosing banana guy.

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You Can Learn A Lot From Monkeys

For example: Harvard primatologist Richard Wrangham
has developed a theory that postulates that learning to cook was the evolutionary key that gave early hominids the nutritional boost they needed to develop larger brains . Wrangham, a student of Jane Gooddall, spent 20 years studying West African chimps and became intimately familiar with the daily diet of chimpanzees — primarily raw tubers — which he realized would be totally unsuited for the diet of any hominid. Hominids had (and have) much weaker jaws and teeth than their primate cousins and would not have been able to eat enough of the food chimps eat to sustain significant brain development. This eventually led him to wonder about the diet of primitive humans and thus to the question about cooking.

(Yes, I know chimps are not monkeys…stop being a party-pooper)

Meanwhile, a group of German researchers studying Barbary Macaques has learned that the reason female macaques scream during sex is that the males need the auditory cue in order to ejaculate. I will leave you to consider the evolutionary consequences on your own (nudge-nudge, wink-wink).

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A Barrel Full Of Monkeys!

Monkeys!

It has been foretold that in the Final Battle For Earth, the combatants will be the Giant Squids versus the Warrior Monkeys.

That day is now one step closer.

Live it up, puny humans, your days are numbered!

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More Fun Than A Barrel Full Of….Oh, Riiiiight, Sorry…

barrelomonkeys.jpg

This Ananova story about a German zoo hiring a local clown to come in and cheer up their monkeys is getting a lot of play. And apparently so are the monkeys, who go ape (ahem) whenever they see her coming to visit their enclosure. I guess they must not have a Chuck E. Cheese nearby.

(Everybody seems to have the same wire story, so it would be cool if somebody actually IN Germany could follow up with a few more details, like which zoo it is, and maybe score some photos of the clown entertaining the animals. Ananova has a history of simply spreading around any old story without offering much in the way of details…just like FOX News.)

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Not So Much As A Sonnet, But We Have An Idea For A New Reality Show

monkey-typewriter.jpg

I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saw “put a thousand monkeys in a room with a typewriter and eventually come up with Shakespeare.” It’s basically the working model for hiring screenwriters in Hollywood (which explains how ABC came up with that Geico Caveman show idea)

Aaaaaanyway, it’s not working out quite as well as first thought. Some researchers in England got a grant to put a typewriter into a habitat of six macacques at the Devon Zoo for a month and monitor the results. The macacques did seem to like to press the letter “S” more than the others and did eventually type five pages of gibberish (which were immediately overnighted to Paramount), but nothing the remotest bit Shakesperean. They also flung the typewriter around and defecated on the keyboard, demonstrating advanced managerial skills.

The flaw in their experiment design, obviously, was not enough monkeys, but I suppose one must make do with the grant money one has.

There used to be a website called “The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator”, but it doesn’t exist anymore. As they say in academic circles, “more research is needed.”

Oh, and today, by the way, is the traditional day for celebrating the birthday of William Shakespeare himself, even though the date is now considered inaccurate. The day has been credited due to an Elizabethan tradition (now discounted by historians) of baptizing infants three days after birth and documented proof that Shakespeare was baptized on April 26, 1564. It also aligns tidily with the date of his death, which DID occur on April 23, 1616.

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