Tag Roman Catholic Church

It Was Bound To Happen, I Suppose

We’ve got climate change deniers.

We’ve got evolution deniers.

There’s even a Flat Earth Society.

So it really was just a matter of time before somebody got around to being heliocentrism deniers. A group of conservative Catholics (big surprise there) in Chicago are actively promoting a return to the pre-Copernican theory that the Earth is the center of the universe and that the Sun and all the other objects in the sky revolve around us rather than the Earth being a planet that orbits the Sun. It bears mentioning that the Vatican doesn’t support these guys and that they’ve been good with the theory of heliocentrism since the 18th Century. Heck, they even apologized to Galileo (sort of) back in 1992, although that statue of him they wanted to put up never happened.

Psst…Richard Sungenis…Eppur si muove

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Sexy Times In Vatican City

Well THAT’s awkward: a priest in the archdiocese of the Italian cardinal advising Pope Bendict XVI on the ongoing sex abuse problems in the church has been arrested for soliciting 14-year-old boys from a Moroccan drug dealer. The story keeps getting a bit misrepresented as more and more bloggers catch up with it; the priest who was arrested is NOT the adviser himself, but a parish priest in his diocese. Nevertheless, it doesn’t make Cardinal Bagnasco look like he’s on top of the situation at all. That might explain how the RCC recently decided it was all the fault of those damn dirty hippies.

And the report about the systematic sexual abuse of nuns in 23 countries? Also hippies. Plus, they were totally asking for it with those suggestive outfits.

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Miraculous!

Papa Ratzi’s latest PR move has been the fast-tracking of sainthood for his predecessor, John Paul II. The Church will officially beatify the late pontiff in May, having waived the usual requirement that the would-be saint be dead for five years before even beginning the sainthood process. The Polish church, clearly planning ahead with ghoulish anticipation, has announced that they managed to siphon off some of J2P2′s blood before he died and will encase it as a relic in a new church in Krakow. In fact, the local archbishop openly regretted that they didn’t get a crack at taking the heart right out of his still-warm cadaver, because nothing says peace, love and compassion like grave-robbing. As precedent, they cite how former Vice President Dick Cheney had his heart surgically removed in 1989 and replaced with a vial of black ichor that continues to keep his undead soul animated today. Cheney’s heart, of course, was not encased in crystal and placed upon an altar, but instead was eaten, bloody and still beating, by the Republican National Committee.

But I digress.

Part of the process for being anointed as a saint is the demonstration of two miracles performed by the person being canonized. The problem with miracles is that they aren’t as easy to fake as they used to be, what with science and YouTube videos and Photoshop and all that, but you can always count on the Catholic Church to pull something out of its ass (and not just Father Maloney’s dick). The miracle they’ve come up with for John Paul II is the “healing” of a French nun who had Parkinson’s Disease, which he managed to pull off two months after he died. Former Slate editor Michael Kinsley, himself a sufferer of Parkinson’s Disease, isn’t buying that story even a little.

The second miracle is a lot easier to demonstrate because they’ve got written proof: Pope John Paul II personally made all the church child abuse problems in Ireland disappear with the wave of his magic pen.

Not even Michael Jackson could pull off a miracle like that!

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I’ll Take Potpourri For $200, Alex

The San Francisco Chronicle had this profile of “Dirty Jobs” host Mike Rowe recently. Nothing new or revelatory, but interesting if you’re a fan of the show. We are big Dirty Jobs fans around here, but I have to admit that even I was pretty close to tuning out during the episode with the forensic entomologists.

From the Unclear On The Concept files: Friendly Atheist’s Hemant Mehta made me chuckle with this video clip of a Catholic priest on FOX News saying “If you have an imaginary friend, there’s something wrong with you.”

Anyone travelling the globe will instantly recognize the complete necessity of this website: Where Do I Put The Paper.com Let’s just say that I was more than a little surprised about the custom in several countries I would have ordinarily assumed to be “flush” cultures.

After reading this Prose Before Hos post, you might want to reconsider putting a buck in the Salvation Army buckets. CharityNavigator.org is a useful online guide to finding more suitable outlets for your giving.

A blog from a South Carolina law firm that ordinarily focuses on product liability issues recently offered up a post that looks at a New York Times article from 1931 soliciting opinions of the Future World of 2011 from such luminaries of the day as Henry Ford, Dr. William J. Mayo, Nobel-winning physicist Arthur Compton, and anthropologist Arthur Keith. As usual with any look back at these “predicting the future” articles from the past, there are plenty of things laughably wrong as well as presciently correct, though mainly in the “not so much” category. No mention of tinfoil suits, flying cars, or food in pill-form, so bonus points to them for that.

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Islamophobia Über Alles

Hey, ALL the cool kids are Islamophobes now, so you should be, too!

Not satisfied with kicking all the Roma out of the country, yesterday the French Senate overwhelmingly voted to ban the wearing of full-facial veils, as is the custom of some Muslim women. The so-called “burqa ban” has been a political hot potato since the lower house of Parliament passed the bill a couple of months ago. Proponents, including President Nicholas Sarkozy, have portrayed the ban as a “human rights” effort, but it is estimated that there are only a couple of thousand Muslim women in France to whom the ban applies and critics decry the effort as pandering to the resurgent right wing in France and singling out Muslims over other religious groups.

The Germans, in the meanwhile, have had a whole ‘nother ballgame going on as Thilo Sarrazin, a board member of Germany’s central bank and former finance senator for Berlin, resigned under pressure from the Merkel government after making a number of anti-Muslim remarks in his latest book. Unlike Sarkozy, who uses the cover of secularism to justify his policies, Sarrazin is a straight-up racist and all-around troll who sounds suspiciously like some FOX News personalities talking about little Muslim girls in headscarves having lots of Muslim babies.

And guess who else thinks there are too many Muslims in Europe…that’s right, the Roman Catholic Church. Quelle suprise! Sounding like someone who watches a little too much Glenn Beck, senior Vatican official Fr. Piero Gheddo urged Italian Catholics to start fucking like bunnies to counteract the evil upswing in Muslim births that imperil Christendom. Not to mention the need for future generations of altar boys, I presume.

Back here in the good ol’ United States of Jesus, last week New Republic editor Martin Peretz wrote the New York Times that American Muslims don’t deserve First Amendment rights. That’s caused some appropriately outraged reaction in other quarters, but didn’t stop Harvard University’s plans to name a research fund after him, complete with a big celebration for Peretz planned for next week, though they did call his remarks “distressing”. Peretz has issued an apology of sorts, but it’s one of those “I’m sorry you took offense at what I said” sort of dealies that doesn’t really apologize for anything.

Gosh that’s an awful lot of fuckwittedness.

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At Least There’s Something All Belgians Have In Common

Flemish and Walloon Belgians alike can now have common sympathies: every single Catholic parish in the entire nation of Belgium has suffered from child abuse at the hands of their priests. Topping it all off, the bishop of Bruges molested his own nephew beginning when the boy was only five years old. And the reaction of the Vatican? Shock and outrage that priests would be treated like common criminals by the police. Ooooookay, then.

The Catholic Church in Ireland expressed dismay that they could be outdone by a bunch of feckin’ Belgies, and promised that they would try harder to make sure no Irish Catholic boy goes unmolested. They also pointed out that the Irish clergy are still the world leaders in flogging, slave-labor and gang-rape, as they have been for 30 years.

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In Related News, Bear Blames Shit In The Woods On Raccoons

Well, you knew it would eventually come to this: a Roman Catholic bishop says this whole thing with the pedophile priests and the child abuse and the coverup and everything else that is wrong with the church is the fault of the Jews. Because basically everything can be blamed on either the Jews or the Freemasons. At least he didn’t say it was the fault of that damn nigger secret-Muslim Obama, although Sarah Palin probably will at some point.

Wait! This just in…no, its not the Jews, it’s…the children! Oh those damnable altar boys looking oh-so-sexy in their little lace gowns. They were asking for it! Just like all those other rape victims!

Oops, I’ve just been handed another bulletin…well, at least this is good news…it is definitely NOT the Beatles! They were just nice young men who were a little misguided to think they were anywhere NEAR as big as Jesus. Although, if you ask me, that Ringo looks a little bit Jewish…

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Time Again For “That Darn Ratzi!”

Papa Ratzi has been keeping a pretty low profile for a while, but he’s back in dutch once again over a couple of problems: first, one of his personal attendants was discovered to be buying services from a gay prostitution ring inside the Vatican being run by a Vatican choir singer. The attendant, who is also a prominent construction contractor in Rome, was being investigated for corrupt business practices, when investigators discovered him “ordering for delivery”.

And while that’s embarrassing, it’s the second item that puts those red-soled feet on the fire: the Pope’s own brother admits beating young boys in his church in Germany over a period of 30 years, and it appears that the Pope himself (during his tenure as Archbishop) played an important role in covering up the abuse along with a number of incidents of sexual assaults on boys by German priests.

You know things have gotten pretty bad, because the Vatican’s “Chief Exorcist” has publicly stated that “the Devil lives in the Vatican”. Of course, he also says that Harry Potter is the work of the devil, so he *might* be given to hyperbole, you never know.

Christopher Hitchens, always on the lookout for new ways to badmouth the Catholics, weighed in today with this fine screed at Slate. Money quote follows:

Very much more serious is the role of Joseph Ratzinger, before the church decided to make him supreme leader, in obstructing justice on a global scale. After his promotion to cardinal, he was put in charge of the so-called “Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith” (formerly known as the Inquisition). In 2001, Pope John Paul II placed this department in charge of the investigation of child rape and torture by Catholic priests. In May of that year, Ratzinger issued a confidential letter to every bishop. In it, he reminded them of the extreme gravity of a certain crime. But that crime was the reporting of the rape and torture. The accusations, intoned Ratzinger, were only treatable within the church’s own exclusive jurisdiction. Any sharing of the evidence with legal authorities or the press was utterly forbidden. Charges were to be investigated “in the most secretive way … restrained by a perpetual silence … and everyone … is to observe the strictest secret which is commonly regarded as a secret of the Holy Office … under the penalty of excommunication.” (My italics). Nobody has yet been excommunicated for the rape and torture of children, but exposing the offense could get you into serious trouble. And this is the church that warns us against moral relativism!

ADDENDUM: Here is a less charged, more thoughtful, yet nevertheless very critical piece about this Pope from the British newspaper The Independent which I came across after writing this post. I think it puts Ratzinger into the broader context of the struggle with modernity that the RCC has faced since the mid-20th century, and even in the big picture finds him wanting.

ADDENDUM TO THE ADDENDUM: Here’s Jon Stewart’s version on “The Daily Show”

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The Way Life “Should” Be

I’m disappointed but not really surprised that the voters in Maine rejected the same-sex marriage legislation that squeaked through their legislature earlier this year.

The political divide in Maine generally boils down to Portland vs. The Rest Of The State. The population of the Portland metropolitan area is 230,000, which is more than 20% of the population of the entire state. With a large contingent of “Getaways” from other Northeastern cities, college-age young adults, and people with higher levels of education, Portland is like a border outpost for Boston, while the rest of the state makes the cast of Hee Haw look like Oxford-educated gentlemen and ladies. The ME-1 Congressional district almost always has a True Blue Democrat in the seat, and Obama handily won the state last year. Portland et environs is also the locus of the gay community (as it is for every other minority community that exists in Maine).

A lot of outside national political groups were involved in this referendum; I got a lot of e-mail from the assorted liberal groups about it. I donated some money to the effort, but I drew the line at the request to actually GO to Maine to pump up headcount at rallies — helping to keep the campaign afloat is one thing, but I don’t think it’s Kosher to pretend to be a local for the sake of any political campaign. At the end of the day, though, I think what pushwd the final number was the effort from the Catholic Church, which holds a lot of political sway in Maine. Without the Catholics, the “Yes” group would have just been the usual collection of hate-mongers and fundie freaks, but the church lent legitimacy as well as tangible support.

Once again, for my money, that really underscores the bigger idea that there ought to be a much clearer division between church and state when it comes to marriage. If the Catholics (or any other religious group) don’t approve of same-sex marriage, then let them keep it out of their own church and stop interfering with the rights of people who don’t belong to their church. Marriage as a religious rite can indeed be restricted to whatever prescriptions any particular religious organization wished to impose on its membership. Marriage as a civil institution should be equally available to all without discrimination.

At this point in time, after four and a half years of legal same-sex marriage here in Massachusetts, it’s pretty clear that every single argument against same-sex marriage is bullshit used to cover up basic bigotry and homophobia — the “foundation of society” hasn’t been harmed in any way, people aren’t marrying dogs, and so on. It’s also clear that general public opinion continues to move away from moralistic bigotry but that opposition from the Catholic Church, or, as was the case with Prop 8 in California last year, the Mormon Church, still carries enough weight to work against this basic issue of equal rights for all. It’s a shame that groups which lay claim to “compassion” and “tolerance” still champion the very opposite.

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Feed The World

Sarah Silverman has figured it out…all we need to do is sell the Vatican!

poverty ur doing it rong

While we’re at it, we also should be taking every last penny of the $21 billion bonus pool that Goldman Sachs has stolen and spend it all on clothing and housing and feeding as many people as possible in THIS country.

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