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OMG! I’ll take two!!

Measure Twice, Kill Once: The BBC reports that the entire 1200-square-mile Dugway Proving Ground in Utah was placed on lockdown when it was discovered that a quarter-teaspoon-worth of VX nerve agent could not be accounted for. VX is the most lethal substance known to science, requiring only about 700 micrograms to kill a human being. No word on when tourists will be allowed in for photos and a picnic lunch.

Ars Technica recently reported that Universal Music Group, the largest music company in the world, is donating 200,000 master recordings dating from the 1920s through the 1940s to the Library of Congress. As with other media from the early 20th Century, many of the recordings are on deteriorating physical media, and the LoC will digitize and restore all the recordings. Eventually, all the digitized copies will be publicly available online.

This week’s New Yorker profiles the actor who plays “The Most Interesting Man In The World” in those Dos Equis commercials, Jonathan Goldsmith. If the profile is any indication, Goldsmith himself is actually the Second Most Interesting Man In The World. I am presently ranked #7, but Dick Cavett has to die sometime, right?

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Tea For Two

Required reading:

This Vanity Fair profile of Sarah Palin by Michael Joseph Gross hit the web yesterday. Let’s hope it does for her career what the VF profile of General Stanley McChrystal did for his.

Jane Mayer’s profile of the Kochs, David and Charles, in The New Yorker a couple of weeks ago also helps to put a little sunlight on the monsters behind the Tea Party. If nothing else, it shows that Rupert Murdoch isn’t the only evil supervillian trying to take over the world. Now we just need a real-life James Bond to take these motherfuckers out.

Matt Taibbi is up to his usual snuff with a Rolling Stone post about the recent primary elections and the influence the Tea Party did and did not have on the outcome, and the insidious race-baiting of Murdoch’s FOX News.

Christopher Hitchens proves that he isn’t dead yet by giving the ol’ one-two to the Beckapalooza of last weekend. As infuriating as he is, we are going to sorely miss Hitch when he is gone. (If you’ve got the time, I also recommend this long video featuring interviews with teabaggers at the Beckapalooza for an up-close-and-personal look at the terminally stupid)

The always-funny “stupid customer” website Not Always Right.com had a little precautionary tale about what happens when teabaggers show up to vote.

And here’s a little history lesson about the origins of the Tea Party and its ilk:

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Random Infographic Of The Day

Well, there’s you problem right there!

James Surowiecki explains the problem with “taxing the millionaires” in the latest New Yorker: everybody thinks they’re middle class, even the super-rich.

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Best Articles Ever

Kevin Kelly’s “Cool Tools” blog is calling upon the web to pull together a list of the best magazine articles of all time (via BoingBoing). Given the propensity of the web to generate all manner of “best of” and “top ten” lists and other rankings, I’m a little surprised I’ve never seen anyone try this before, but I think the rather transitory nature of magazine journalism and the sheer overwhelming volume of material generated by periodicals probably put the idea pretty far down on the list of thing people were looking to rank. Nevertheless, what’s already been generated is a pretty awesome list of outstanding pieces of work, and the refinement of the list is ongoing.

Because the bias of the list is for things than can be read online, much of the material being considered is pretty recent, but as magazines begin to put their back issue archives online it is getting easier to find material from the ’80s, ’70s, even the ’50s. Some of the first ones Kelly listed are well-established classics: John Hersey’s “Hiroshima”, Vannevar Bush’s 1945 Atlantic article that presages the computer era, and pieces by Hunter Thompson, Joan Didion, Norman Mailer, Tom Wolfe, et.al. David Foster Wallace is rising to the top of the list as people begin to contribute, and anyone who reads The Atlantic or The New Yorker with any regularity will recognize names like James Fallows, Malcolm Gladwell, Rebecca Mead, and Calvin Trillin.

You could easily cobble together a reading list from this that would keep you busy for a long, long time. I know I am looking forward to doing just that, but let me also offer some recommendations of articles I’ve already read that are on the list that might be a good starting place for you:

“The Mountains of Pi” — Richard Preston, The New Yorker, March 3, 1992. Two mathematician brothers in New York who built a supercomputer in their apartment to calculate Pi. Truly memorable.

“Driving Mr. Albert: A Trip Across America With Einstein’s Brain” — Michael Paterniti, Harper’s Magazine, October 1997. A first-hand account of the author’s encounter with Thomas Stoltz Harvey, the pathologist who autopsied Albert Einstein and kept his brain for decades. The Harper’s article Kelly links to requires a subscription to read online, but Paterniti published the piece as a book a few years later.

“The Pitchman” — Malcolm Gladwell, The New Yorker, October 30, 2000. Gladwell profiled Ron Popeil, the guy behind Ronco and all those “as seen on TV” products, and how he actually invented many of them himself.

“The Peekaboo Paradox” — Gene Weingarten, Washington Post Magazine, January 22, 2006. Gene Weingarten is one of my favorite journalists, and this story about a DC-area rent-a-clown who calls himself “The Great Zucchini” is a masterpiece.

“Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime?” — Gene Weingarten, Washington Post Magazine, March 8, 2009. Another Gene Weingarten piece that you may even remember, since it was published only last year and won him a Pulitzer Prize. Even if you read it then, it’s worth reading again.

“The Anosognosic’s Dilemma: Something’s Wrong but You’ll Never Know What It Is” — Errol Morris, The New York Times, Opinion, June 20, 2010. This is the first part of a series of articles by Morris that the NYT recently ran (he is an occasional contributor there, but his stuff is always fascinating. I actually thought the third article of this series, which is about the end of Woodrow Wilson’s presidency, when he was seriously debilitated after a severe stroke, and how his wife and doctors hid the condition from everyone, was the best one.

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Three Must-Read Articles

Of interest:

The December issue of Vogue has an excellent interview/profile of Hillary Clinton by Jonathan Van Meter. It’s gotten most of its attention from the behind-the-scenes explanation of how she came to accept the offer to be Secretary of State when she really did not want the job. The piece really shows Hillary’s ability to keep moving forward despite being tossed around by political misfortunes not entirely of her own making, and leaves me genuinely feeling like the Democrats picked the wrong nominee. For all the Hillary Hatred that the right would have mustered up against her, it couldn’t be near as bad as the batshit-insane stuff they’ve plastered Obama with, and I think she would probably have made more headway by now than Obama. Most insiders expect that she won’t stay if Obama wins re-election in 2012, but unlike Bill Clinton, who’s massive ego keeps him going and going and going, it’s hard to see what she would do ex officio.

Last week’s New Yorker takes a peek inside the world of Michelin restaurant reviewers. While all restaurant reviewers have to struggle with maintaining anonymity, the people who work for Michelin are a whole order of magnitude more secretive about it. Author John Colapinto’s description of meeting one of the reviewers who covers New York City for lunch at Jean Georges reads like the machinations of a James Bond novel…and it seems the Michelin people prefer it that way. There’s some criticism of the guides and their old-fashioned biases toward traditional French restaurant cuisine, and after reading the challenges the reviewers themselves face in having to maintain their secret identities, having to live up to the demands of the guide’s management, and having to eat everything on their plate everywhere they dine, I think I won’t be applying for that job.

This original post at the group blog 3Quarks Daily by Evert Ciliers gets down to brass tacks about Afghanistan: it was stupid to go to war there in the first place, everything we do there is back-assward, and Barack Obama is only making things worse by prolonging the conflict in order to look tough. Here’s the money pull-quote, which is actually a quote from John R. MacArthur at Harper’s:

“’Fighting terrorism’ in Afghanistan ‘to prevent another 9/11′ simply isn’t a serious argument, and I suspect that even the deluded Gen. Stanley McChrystal understands that his men are shooting at indigenous Afghan rebels, not Osama bin Laden or his followers. No, the more likely reason for killing all those people and wasting nearly $3.4 billion a month is an ugly mixture of vanity, misplaced pride, crass politics, and liberal self-righteousness. The Army still wants to prove it can defeat a guerrilla army and erase the shame of Vietnam. The politicians, Obama included, want to look warlike and tough, so they can’t be accused of being ‘soft on terror’ in 2010. And then there are the civil servants and think-tank denizens known as ‘humanitarian interventionists’ — now led by Hillary Clinton, who think that America’s ‘civilizing’ mission in the world includes not only establishing ‘democracy’ but also ‘freeing’ Afghan women from being required to wear the burqa.”

If you’re still operating under the delusion that Barack Obama is Superman, hopefully this article will dissuade you of that once and for all. If you’re operating under the delusion that Our Soldiers are Fighting For Our Freedom, this probably won’t change your mind because you’re too big a dumbfuck to get it.

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Sorry, No Droll Cartoons

In its September-October 2009 issue, Harvard Magazine has a profile of Dr. Atul Gawande, a surgeon who is best known in the public realm not for being a doctor but for being a regular contributor to The New Yorker. (He’s also a professor at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health, in addition to practicing surgery at Brigham & Women’s Hospital…you know, a complete slacker).

As a long-time reader of The New Yorker, I almost always enjoy his essays, though I wasn’t particularly enamored of his ideas for reforming the health care system that he outlined in this New York Times op-ed during the middle of this summer’s contentious health care “debate”. The basic idea — taking best-practice successes in both care and cost-management from around the country and making them the models for every hospital — is merely a step, not a solution, and continues to rely on a foundation of letting the insurance companies run the show. Of course, it was shouted right out of consideration by the right-wing whackjobs, like every other suggestion that wasn’t “Do NOTHING!!”, so I guess at this juncture it doesn’t matter.

The profile is pretty standard, but it does give you a picture of this man that you might not get from his own writing, plus a bunch of links to related articles and other interesting items about Dr. Gawande.

Oh, okay… just to make you feel better, here’s a gratuitous New Yorker cartoon:

newyorker

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Take Me To Your Leader…Gravel!

gravel

From The New Yorker: “Attention, People of Earth” by Paul Simms

Speaking of which, have you seen the promos on ABC for the remake of the 1980s TV show “V”? In case you aren’t old enough to remember the 1980s, or are so old you can’t remember the 1980s, the show was about a bunch of aliens who came to Earth, pretended to be friendly, took over the planet, and then turned out to be rat-munching lizard people intent on destroying humanity….you know, the Republican Party. And like the Republican Party today, this time they’ve got a hot chick leading them, but she’s still a rat-eating lizard underneath. I thoroughly expect this show to run right up until the 2012 election, whereupon it will have to be re-classified as a “reality show”.

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No One Can Resist His Schweddy Balls

I have gratuitously included this video of one of the funniest Saturday Night Live sketches of all time as a cheap way of segueing into this link to the profile of Alec Baldwin by Ian Parker in this week’s New Yorker.

It’s a long piece, but I really enjoyed it. You can see that Baldwin is a really intelligent guy but is plagued by the actor’s curse of complete narcissism and heightened self-absorption. It’s a volatile combination and worked against him for a long time. Now, though, as he stars in “30 Rock”, it not only works to his advantage, it may be that it has given him the role that he will be best remembered for. And he knows that. But, as his brother Billy says, he always has “something to fucking whine about”. Most actors are either sufficiently unaware of their own vanity or fully aware and simply don’t give a shit enough about it to behave any differently. Baldwin seems to play with it like watercolors. Worth reading.

Or, you can just watch the clip and laugh yer ass off, totally your choice.

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Van Doren Speaks!

The game show scandals that rocked American television are about to hit the 50th anniversary milestone. In anticipation of that, Charles Van Doren has finally broken his half-century of silence about his side of the story with a feature piece in this week’s New Yorker. Van Doren is now 82 years old. He’s spent most of his life in a sort of half-light of obscurity — for many years he was the editor-in-chief of the Encyclopedia Brittanica, worked closely with the noted scholar Mortimer J. Adler, and published a steady stream of books about various intellectual topics, so he was never entirely out of the public eye but managed his career in a way that let him dipolmatically avoid any significant attention.

As he says in the article, he even declined to cooperate with a well-regarded documentary film made about the scandal which was made for PBS in the early 1990s, and flatly turned down almost as much money as he’d won on “Twenty-One” to be a “technical adviser” on Robert Redford’s Oscar-nominated film “Quiz Show”. I’m sure the combination of the upcoming 50th anniversary (which will invite new attention) plus his advanced age is the primary explanation for why he’s finally talking about it. He doesn’t let himself off the hook; he readily admits that he knew what he was getting into and went ahead despite voiced misgivings from his father and his fiancee. But he also doesn’t really have an answer as to why he went through with it except perhaps to hint that he may have had trepidations about following in his father’s and grandfather’s footsteps and that the fame television brought him was his escape path. Ultimately that path was cut off for him and he did indeed follow in his father’s footsteps, so perhaps he thinks that has been punishment enough for his misdeeds.

As coincidence would have it, not long ago Mark Evanier, the television writer, blogged about the practice of using what were called “gambits” on the game show “What’s My Line?”, which was a contemporary of “Twenty-One”. It seemed that the producers of the show, Mark Goodson and Bill Todman, felt that they could prime the pump, as it were, on the witty and delightful comments that their panel show was famous for, if they dropped a few hints to the panelists about what to say and how to correctly guess the contestant’s secret. It wasn’t blatant cheating in the way that Van Doren and others were given specific answers to specific questions, but Van Doren writes about how the producers of “Twenty-One” coached him and the others on their stage behavior, too. Here’s a YouTube clip, via Evanier, that shows panelist Bill Cullen trying to deliver some pre-suggested joke before “guessing” the right answer:

Evanier points out the things to pay attention to in the clip here.

Goodson and Todman mostly ran a clean show, so they escaped relatively unscathed from the resulting prosecutions and hearings that came from the revelations about “Twenty-One” and “Dotto”, and through the 1960s they were the leading producer of game shows for the networks. Jack Barry and Dan Enright, on the other hand, were essentially blacklisted from television for almost 20 years. Van Doren’s most famous opponent, Herb Stempel, is still alive as well — he *did* take the offer (and the check) from Robert Redford to work on “Quiz Show”, and made the talk show rounds after the movie was a hit.

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All About The Benjamin

Benjamin Franklin

Charlotte learned about Benjamin Franklin for the first time last week. She told me all about him on our way home in the car. She was most taken with the factoid that he was the 15th of 17 children, but she also knew that he was a printer and that he lived in Philadelphia and she knew about the experiment with the kite.

As we were discussing this, I realized that probably 99% of Americans don’t know much more about Benjamin Franklin than my six-year-old does. Even though he’s a seminal figure in our history, he doesn’t get a lot of up-close inspection. As we go along in school, we might pick up that he was one of our first ambassadors to France or that he was a member of the Continental Congress and signed the Declaration of Independence, or that he wrote the original “Poor Richard’s Almanac”. But for someone so putatively “famous” he’s kind of a blur to most of us.

And, for a change, that’s not all our fault. Franklin only partially completed his own autobiography, and there was very little interest in him from historians until about the mid-20th century. There really isn’t a must-read book about Franklin at all; I remember reading a Franklin bio in graduate school, but not well enough that I can even remember the author’s name. Author Jill Lepore, writing in this week’s New Yorker, in fact, considers this very problem. As she notes, part of the problem is that Franklin was SO important to so many different pieces of the founding of America that it is difficult to squeeze them all in. Franklin was, by turns, a writer, a publisher, an inventor, a scientist, and a politician. He was also a ladies’ man, a philanthropist, a visionary, and a lover of bad jokes.

I shared a few more facts about Franklin with Charlotte to try to give her some more tidbits — I told her about the armonica and the Franklin stove, and how he had been an ambassador to France along with Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. When we got home, I played for her the song “But Mr. Adams” from the film version of the musical 1776 (a quick confession: I would LOVE to be in this show someday as John Adams or Ben Franklin). Members of the Franklin family are buried in the Old Granary burial ground in Boston, where Paul Revere is buried, so I made a mental note to take her back there sometime, too.

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