Tag vomit

When Worlds Collide

Sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up:

Last week I posted about the predilection of the members of my household to vomit in our master bedroom. And also, not so long ago, I posted about my current favroite TV show, “Dirty Jobs”.

Bridget and I were talking about the vomit-inducing qualities of our bedroom just as last week’s episode came on. It was about a place called….(wait for it)…Vomit Island. The whole episode was about a bird sanctuary in Lake Huron and the volunteers who monitor the birds who live there and how the birds barf and crap as defense mechanisms whenever they feel threatened by the presence of visitors. Needless to say, good ol’ Mike Rowe spent the entire episode getting thoroughly soiled. I guess he’d feel right at home with us.

I was reminded to tell you this story because of this New York Times article today about the cormorants in New York Harbor. The cormorants are rather unpopular with the locals because they are prodigious vomiters. At my house, we probably wouldn’t know the difference.

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And A Good Morning To You, Madam!

I Barfd

Nothing says “Good Morning” like getting out of the shower and having to hand your towel to your wife so she can barf all over it, since she already spewed all over the carpet.

For reasons I do not totally understand, my entire family treats the master bedroom like a contemporary version of the ancient Roman vomitorium. It seems like whenever someone needs to puke, the destination of choice is our bedroom. Maynard the cat, who, you will recall, is already on my black list for waking me up several times a night is a serial barfer and is known for leaving piles of yakk all over the house but especially prefers to hurl right in front of the TV armoire. Charlotte, on the other hand, likes to heave in the bed itself, preferrably on MY side. Harry the cat, who really doesn’t upchuck all that much comparatively, tends to quietly deposit hairballs in the more obscure corners of the room. And now Bridget adds the contents of her stomach to the formerly off-white but now multi-colored carpet right in front of my bedside table, perilously close to where I keep my shoes.

Hmm? What’s that you say? Puke into the toilet? Or at least the tile floor of the bathroom? Pshaw! Why puke someplace where it can be quickly and easily cleaned up when you can hork up right on some nice partial-shag carpet?

(Me? Well, I haven’t vomited in years, and I’d like to keep it that way, thanks)

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